


Only Forever

by NaryCanary



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Future, Near Death, Non-Linear Narrative
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-04-26 01:44:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14391579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaryCanary/pseuds/NaryCanary
Summary: “You can keep playing this game, or you can be with me,” her soft voice cut through the silence. “But I hope you know that the clock is ticking.”Keith knitted his eyebrows together. He still said nothing.Pidge swallowed and continued, “I won’t be waiting around for you forever. Something could happen to one of us one day and by then... it’ll definitely be too late.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea wasn't leaving me and neither was my desire to write this, so here it is. Another one inspired by a Demi Lovato song. Enjoy!!
> 
> P.S. No one dies.

**PRESENT**

If the breathtaking sight of the desert night sky was the last thing Pidge saw before she died, then she’d be okay with that.

If the prickling texture of the cool sand underneath her battered body was the last thing she felt before numbness consumed her, she’d be okay with that too.

If the last person she heard crying out her name through the telecoms was Keith… she might scream.

To not risk that happening, Pidge reached up and used the last bit of her strength to remove her paladin headgear. She gave herself a moment to mentally prepare for the inevitable pain that shot up her arm as she chucked it as far away from her as she possibly could. She let out a brief, agonizing cry and allowed her burnt hand—the one she received while fighting one-on-one with Sendak before annihilating him—to drop on the ground like a dead weight.

She watched a cloud of dust rise up and disappear into the cold air, exhaling short puffs of breaths as the excruciating ache inside her palm slowly subsided.

Who was she kidding.

Keith would never come for her.

That would make things more _difficult_ for the mission.

After all, putting the life of one person over the sake of many others is _unreasonable_ and _selfish._

Pidge swallowed a large lump inside her throat. Yeah, this was what it meant to be a warrior. A soldier. A paladin of Voltron.

Too bad it took her until she was twenty-two and on the verge of death to realize the weight of the role she had been forcibly given.

She sighed. Damn, this sucked.

Has she been oblivious all this time? Why didn’t she grasp this concept sooner? Was it something she had somehow overlooked or had chosen to ignore? Was this really how it was going to end for her?

Well, none of those questions mattered now. Not when her lungs were struggling to breathe and there were sudden black spots covering up her vision. Right now, thinking—and she’d never thought the day would come when she’d use one of Hunk’s complaints to describe her state of mind—sounded like a lot of work.

In the last few minutes left of her life, all Pidge wanted to do was drown out the rest of the world, close her tearstained eyes, and find peace within the blissful silence of the lonely planet she landed on.  


* * *

**  
4 years ago**

Pidge liked the way Keith stared at her whenever he thought she wasn’t paying attention. She wondered if it had something to do with the mysterious air about him that she couldn’t quite understand.

So much about Keith had been revealed over the past year—like him being half-Galra, him possessing a knife that belonged to the Blade of Marmora, him having a mother who belonged to the said resistance group—and yet, none of those discoveries could give Pidge an explanation as to why she was always drawn to him.

Could it be the way he silently watched her work? Could it be the way his eyes are glued to her form whenever they train? Or could it be the steel in his gaze every time she said his name with a different inflection whenever they were alone? Maybe it was the way his breath hitched every time she purposely brushed up against him or grazed her fingertips over his arm whenever they stood too close?

Oh yeah. She knew what she was doing to him. She was fully aware of it.

And she couldn't stop.

Pidge hadn’t meant to start playing this game, but once she started, she couldn’t stop. It was in her nature to test her curiosities, interests, and fascinations; to go after what she wanted without holding back all the cards up her sleeves. If she liked it, it would be hers for the taking.

Alright, maybe she wasn’t _that_ ambitious, and she wasn’t going to claim Keith like he was some kind of object, but she was having fun. She was enjoying these moments. There was no harm in that, right?

Keith, on the other hand, had an entirely different opinion.

She had been in the middle of upgrading her brand new software program on her laptop one night when he suddenly busted inside her room with a bang so loud, Pidge thought the ship was under attack. She had immediately reached for her bayard and was prepared to strike, only to slacken her stance once she realized who was at the door.

“Keith!" she glared. "What the hell?!”

“We need to talk,” he demanded through gritted teeth.

She blinked questionably several times and glanced behind him.

“Did… Did you just break my door?!” A tick formed on her forehead when she saw the wires hanging out the frames. “Is there a way for you to keep your damn Galra strength down to the minimum when you’re _not_ in battle?”

“I’m pretty heated right now in case you haven’t noticed. It’s hard to tone that part of me down when I get like this.”

“And you’re heated because…?”

 _“You.”_ He spat and took a few steps forward until he was standing directly in front of her. “I know what you’re doing.”

For a moment, Pidge genuinely did not have a clue as to what he was talking about and furrowed her brows together. “What?”

_“You know.”_

When the implication behind his words finally clicked, she had the nerve to smirk at him. “Do you want to tell me anyway?”

“And let you get a kick out of it? No way.”

“You’re the one who likes to undress me with your eyes.”

“No, I don’t!”

She gave him a deadpan stare and stood on her feet, crossing her arms. “Uh huh. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you look at me just because I’m not always looking back at you.”

“What? You suddenly got eyes in the back of your head now?”

“No, but I can feel you staring at me.” She shrugged. “It’s okay to admit it. I’m not mad, if that’s what you’re wondering. There’s only so many of us on this ship for you to check out.”

He chewed his bottom lip and pointedly looked away, quietly realizing he couldn’t argue his way out of this one. Not when he’s been caught.

“It’s not like I… do it all the time,” he muttered.

She tilted her head. “No, but you do most of the time.”

“Not in the way that you think.”

This time, Pidge really was confused. If it wasn’t for the way her body looked, why else would he be watching her with such intensity?

Instead of elaborating on his response, Keith glared at the wall, clenched his fists, and walked out without saying another word.  


* * *

**  
PRESENT**

Pidge always knew that there were parts of her she could never get back since becoming a paladin.

She knew that she would never be able to walk across an auditorium stage to receive her college diploma and land a kickass job. She knew that she would never learn from her reckless teenage mistakes and experience relationship heartaches. She knew that she’ll never know what it’d be like to come back home after a long day at work and relax in the comfort of her own home. She also knew that she would never live a normal, mundane life surrounded by all her loved ones until she grew old and weary.

Instead, she became a person who lived in a reality where all she knew how to do was to fight, defend, protect, and survive.

She snorted. Okay, so she may needed to take that final bit out of her death resume before she passed on. A person can't lie on that kind of stuff before they move onto the other side.

She licked her cold lips and stared thoughtfully at the sky. How was it that she had never thought about life after death until this very moment? Sure, her parents might have taught her to always believe in some kind of miracle, but she had never put much thought into it.

To be fair, she _had_ been pretty occupied for the most part.

Constantly putting up with bullying at school and breaking into the Garrison to find out what happened to half her family tended to take up a girl’s free time. Especially when it came to saving the universe from an evil empire and all that jazz.

What was _not_ supposed to occupy her time (or mind) was a certain mullet-haired emo with eyes dawned in mesmerizing shades of blues and violets.

If she had it her way, that Keith would’ve been blasted off into infinity weeks ago.

The Voltron insignia on her chestplate suddenly began to glow. She glanced down briefly at it before returning her attention back to the twinkling sky. Someone was trying to get a lock on her location. She didn’t want to think about who it could be.

It didn't matter. She’d be dead by the time they find her.  


* * *

**  
3 years ago**

“Pidge, wake up. You fell asleep outside your lion again.”

Incoherent grumbling escaped Pidge’s lips as a large hand grabbed a hold of her shoulders and shook her entire body. The action wasn’t gentlest in the least, which meant it had to be—

“Morning, Keith,” she muttered groggily against her arm. God, it didn’t even feel like she got a full night of sleep.

“It’s midnight,” he corrected.

That’s why.

“Evening,” Pidge said. Her eyes remained closed as she continued to lay awkwardly across the paw of her lion. “Goodnight.”

Keith sighed. “Get up and go to your room.”

“Go to your own room. I’m fine here.”

“Why do you always work until you pass out? I would think that after finding your brother and father, you’d at least take a breather from all your research stuff.”

She snorted. “He said ‘research stuff’... “

“I can’t keep up with all your technological terms.” He scowled. Hell, he could barely remember half of her inventions. The only ones he could list off the top of his head were the ones that can cause an explosion.

“You wouldn’t understand,” Pidge whispered in a voice so quiet, human ears wouldn’t have ordinarily picked it up.

“Why do you think that?” Keith asked and walked around Green’s paw until he was standing beside Pidge’s head.

Silence fell between them for awhile; nothing but the ship’s engines humming softly in the air and the occasional beeping coming from Pidge’s computer. Keith watched her trace invisible patterns on one of Green’s claws, waiting patiently for her to answer.

“Because… “ she whispered, “the castle's your home.”

Keith blinked several times, frowned, and dipped his head to the side with brows furrowed deep. “What?”

Pidge snorted. “I knew that'd be your reaction.”

“Well, can you blame me? I thought we were talking about you.”

“Actually, you asked me why I didn’t think you’d understand my reasoning for working myself to exhaustion.”

Keith’s forehead ticked. “Smart ass.”

Pidge smirked triumphantly. It was fun getting on his nerves.

“So,” he started, “are you going to tell me what you mean or what?”

To his evident surprise, Pidge averted her eyes and buried her face deeper into the crook of her elbow. There was a slight blush on her cheeks, most likely from being shy.

Keith perched himself behind her and planted a foot on one of Green’s claws to steady his balance. He must’ve been making quite a ruckus to have Pidge sit up abruptly and turned around to tilt her head in question.

He dipped his head as a silent apology. “My bad. I was trying not to invade your personal space.”

“You and I both know neither of us have issues with that.”

“It’s out of respect,” he said, then added, “and boundary purposes.”

Pidge wanted to roll her eyes, but that would only warrant an argument she wasn’t in the mood for. Plus, it would be nice to get some of these troubling and pensive thoughts off her chest before bed. Healthy, even (according to Shiro).

However, as soon as she opened her mouth to speak, she noticed the way Keith was hungrily staring at her mouth, and her breath hitched.

She bit her bottom lip out of instinct—it’s what she does when she’s nervous—and that had been a mistake.

The temperature in the room suddenly increased tenfold. The air became thick and heavy. The humming engines on the ship had silenced. A burning desire spread throughout Pidge’s chest and reached all the way down to her toes. It suddenly left her palms sweaty and skin heated in a way she never felt before.

This was so unfair. _He_ was unfair. He didn’t even need to lay a finger on her for this mind-numbing thrill to start consuming her.

A part of her always knew that this day would come. The day where they would finally cross the line of friendship and give into each other. Where they would stop tiptoeing around their feelings and admit them like they were supposed to.

Could he hear how fast her heart was racing? Could he see her fingers trembling? Could he feel the atmosphere changing around them? Does he feel that invisible, unworldly force pushing them to close the distance and connect their lips like they’ve been dying to all this time?

Judging by the shallow exhales coming out his mouth and the way he fervently seized her hips, he must’ve picked up on all those things. In those short, slow motioned seconds, Pidge’s heart accelerated at what was about to happen.

But just as quickly as he made a move on her, Keith ripped himself away.

Terrified and confused, he stumbled back on his feet. He glared down at his own treacherous hands, silently wondering why they even reached out to her in the first place.

“Keith?” Pidge called out, face utterly crestfallen, no doubt missing his body heat.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized in a rushed tone as he turned around. “I… I gotta go. I’ll see you in the morning.”

There was no other ache in the world Pidge could compare to that would accurately describe the loneliness she felt as she watched Keith leave the room.  


* * *

**  
PRESENT**

What were the last words Pidge had said to her parents? She couldn’t even remember.

Not the topic of the conversation. Not when it was taken place. Not even if she was speaking to one or both of them at the same time.

In her opinion, it was tragic.

She could vaguely recall the last conversation she had with Matt. Knowing the nature of their relationship, it was probably something about him promising to kick her ass the next time they play Phantasm Bot 6 and her scoffing at him in response.  

With Coran, he was probably explaining to her some new function on the castleship he added that she could mess around with and improve if desired.

With Allura, it could’ve either been another one of their heart-to-heart girl talks or playful shouting matches they had during their extreme pillow fights.

With Shiro, she most likely was talking strategy with him. Not because they don’t get along on a personal level, but because he genuinely valued her mind.

With Lance, they were probably scheming on the last planet they landed on. Trouble should’ve been their middle names.

With Hunk, it could’ve been anything about engineering or technology. When it came down to the two of them, they could geek out for hours.

Pidge’s throat suddenly constricted and she let out a strangled gasp. She could taste metal in the back of the her mouth.

Right, she was dying.

She rolled her head to the side, allowing her disheveled bangs to fall over her drowsy eyes and obscure her vision.

Pidge had always heard from other soldiers that a warrior was not supposed leave their life with nothing left behind. Again, this was another logic she never thought about, until the very last moment.

At least for this one, she had a definitive answer.

Growing up, she was the girl everyone made fun of. The one everyone picked on. The one kids loved to steal food from and mocked her until she went home with tears streaming down her face.

Now, she was going to leave behind a legacy; her legacy. Everything she had done for the universe will be remembered long after her passing and everyone was going to know her name. They'll remember that she was a brave soul who had defended the voiceless. That she was more than the science freak at school who lost half her family because of a bullshit pilot error and became a hero.

Everyone will know because she’d like to think that she had brought peace to the lives of those she had saved, and that they’re living happily simply because she was here. That she made a difference. That she existed.

Life will go on. With or without her alive.

Keith had said the same thing about himself after he almost sacrificed his life to save hers.  


* * *

**  
2 years ago**

This was the first time Keith has been inside a cryopod, Pidge realized, and it was so damn… bizarre.

She was so used to him looking alive; meaning she had grown accustomed to his fiery personality every time she was in his presence. Even when he was brooding in the corner of the room with his arms crossed, the fire in his eyes never dimmed. He had this aura about him that screamed intensity, but was also ambitious, reserved, and focused. It didn’t matter what was going on around him—he always stood out because he carried that much dimension.

Right now in this moment, he was not that Keith.

“Alright, he has _got_ to wake up soon,” Lance said and clasped his hands behind his head. “Seeing him unconscious is so weird. I’m starting to think we didn’t even bring back the real Keith.”

“No clone jokes, please,” Shiro sighed. “I think we’ve dealt with enough clone problems to last us a lifetime.”

“But, Lance is right—this is weird,” Hunk agreed and knocked on the glass. “I’ve never seen him in this thing. He isn’t moving at all. It’s kinda scary.”

Pidge flinched. Leave it to Hunk to point out the obvious. Honestly, seeing Keith be so still without a spark of life was frightening her to the core. She couldn’t even tell if he was breathing or not.

“Don’t.” Allura glared and removed Hunk’s hand away from the cryopod. “If you knock on it hard enough, you might accidentally open the cryopod. Keith still needs more time to recover.”

Pidge clenched her fingers around her sides and lowered her gaze to the floor. Keith wouldn’t have been in there in the first place if it hadn’t been for her and her stupid mistake.

“Just a few more dobashes and he’ll be good as new,” Coran assured the team with a stroke of his mustache. “He _is_ part Galra, so he doesn’t require that much healing for the blow he took.”

Pidge inwardly winced. She'd been there, and it was definitely more than one blow.

“Oh, he might be getting out sooner than we anticipated,” Allura said while studying the health monitor beside Keith; a new invention Coran and Hunk added in a couple years ago. “His vital signs are almost back to normal, so he’ll be waking up in a few ticks.”

Pidge’s eyes crept back up to Keith. He appeared a lot better than he did an hour ago. The holes on his arms and stomach were completely gone.

She fought back the burning sensation behind her eyes. How could she let him get hurt like this? What kind of comrade was she, allowing her own selfishness to bring him into this state?

A hand placed on her lower back ripped Pidge out her thoughts. She looked up to see Allura with a worried expression.

“I wanted to wait until he woke up to ask you both what happened on the Galra ship, but it doesn't look like it can wait any longer.” Allura furrowed her brows. “When you came in with him, you looked pale.”

“I was scared he wasn’t going to make it,” Pidge explained and resumed her attention back on the floor. “He… He was losing a lot of blood. A-And even when he was on the ground after the explosion, he was still fighting the Galra off somehow to protect me. He’s… He’s crazy. He was fending them off with a broken leg.” She scowled. “What the _hell_ is wrong with him?!”

“You know he's not the type to quit,” Shiro gently reminded her. “He would’ve continued until…"

He didn’t need to finish. Pidge already knew what he was going to say.

“I need to pee,” she suddenly muttered and pulled away from Allura. “I’ll be right back.”

“But Keith is going to wake up any second now…” Lance frowned.

“I’ll be right back,” Pidge reiterated and rushed up the steps towards the exit. “I just need to pee really bad.”

As soon as the door closed behind her on her way out, she heard the loud, _swooshing_ sound of the cryopod opening up.

She halted her steps, quietly listening to the sounds of her friends footsteps rushing up to Keith and crying out in relief for his awakening.

If only they knew what he had said to her right before he passed out in her arms.

-x-x-x-x-

_“We’re on our way back to the castle Keith, so stay with me!” Pidge cried out desperately, tears streaming down her face. “Don’t you even think about dying on me! I need you, dammit!”_

_Through the haze of his delirious state, Keith managed to crack a small smile and raised a bloody finger to touch her face._

_“Don’t cry,” he whispered. “It’ll be okay.”_

_“It’ll be more okay when I get you in the healing pod,” she gruffed and hastily punched some buttons on her lion’s control panel. “Just hang on a little longer.”_

_“... Katie.”_

_“Sshh,” she hushed him and pulled out a breathing mask from the small opening created on the wall. “Don’t talk. Just breathe into this.”_

_He grabbed her wrist to prevent her from shutting him up. “Please listen to what I have to say first.”_

_The precious seconds were ticking by and it took every nerve inside Pidge’s body to adhere to Keith’s request. “Make it short and quick, and it better not be a goodbye. Otherwise, I’m cutting you off.”_

_The smile on his face grew wider. “Just listen.”_

-x-x-x-x-

Not bothering to remember the rest of the living nightmare, Pidge forced her feet to take her to the bathroom that she didn’t even need to use.  


* * *

**  
PRESENT**

Another thing Pidge never got to experience was romance.

She never received a love letter from a secret admirer. She never had a first date. She never held someone’s hand. She never had her first kiss and she never had sex.

The closest thing she ever got to romance was whatever her and Keith had been dancing around on for the past few years. The game she initially started and the one she was ultimately losing.

When the tension between them became so apparent that Matt started questioning her, Pidge felt like an idiot not knowing how to answer her own brother. She immediately approached Keith afterwards and demanded to know where they stand and why they haven’t done anything to pursue their feelings. If this was something that was just going to keep getting buried, then she wasn’t down for it to be this way at all. There would be no purpose in that. It made absolutely no sense.

The confrontation turned out nothing like it had played out in her mind.

And the rest of the time that passed following up to this moment of her imminent demise showed Pidge just how far she would go in the name of love.  


* * *

**  
1 year ago**

“I’m not doing this with you.”

Pidge narrowed her eyes angrily as she followed Keith into his room. “You don’t have a choice.”

He turned around and challenged her with a glare. “Says who?”

“Do you really want to try to go up against me in a conversation?”

“I can just make you leave,” he threatened.

She crossed her arms and cocked her hip to the side, essentially standing her ground.

Keith sighed. “You couldn’t have at least waited until _after_ I showered. You know I just got done doing some practice drills with the Blades.”

“No, because I’m losing my patience over us.”

“What’s there to know?”

“My point _exactly._ That’s what I want to discuss.”

“You’re out of your mind. There’s nothing to talk about.”

Pidge could feel her teeth grinding hard together. “You’re hellbent on running towards trouble without hesitation, yet you refuse to talk to me when it comes to us. Why do you always do this?”

Keith looked away. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“I’m sure I can keep up if you give me a chance.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

“Then that’s the biggest lie I’ve ever heard in my life.”

Keith jerked back, not expecting that response at all. “What the hell has gotten into you all of a sudden?”

“I’m so fed up and _tired_ of this!” Pidge viciously gestured to both of them. “This is like a slow suicide for me and it’s messing with my head. Do you even care what it’s doing to me at all?”

“Of course I do!” He barked back.

“It sure as hell doesn’t look like it—with you being disconnected and all.”

“Okay, I’ve had enough of this.” He turned around and walked towards his closet. “If you’re just looking to pick a fight, then find somebody else.”

“But I don’t want anybody else!” She cried out, hot tears spilling out of her eyes. “I want _you!”_

Keith’s body froze stiff; shoulders taunt and legs rigid, planting him in place. Pidge allowed herself to feel a brief sense of satisfaction for finally getting a reaction out of him that wasn’t borderline apathetic.

He turned around to stare dumbfoundedly at her, as if this was news to him. She could feel more anger bubbling up inside her.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she sniffled. “I never once tried to hide my feelings for you. I may not have shouted them from the rooftop, but they were there. My heart was always on my sleeve for you.”

Minutes passed without either of them saying a word. Pidge kept her eyes on Keith, watching him clenched and unclenched his jaw, hands balled securely against his sides. He was looking away again; his attention rapt towards the floor this time.

Pidge thought she had enough strength to carry on this conversation, but Keith’s lack of participation was making her feel spent.

She had no idea why he was doing this. Avoiding something never suited his style. He was usually emotionally driven and completely honest about his thoughts, so nothing about this made sense to her.

Nevertheless, she knew she had to make an ultimatum. She had to set the bar straight if she was going to get anywhere with him.

“You can keep playing this game, or you can be with me,” her soft voice cut through the silence. “But I hope you know that the clock is ticking.”

Keith knitted his eyebrows together. He still said nothing.

Pidge swallowed and continued, “I won’t be waiting around for you forever. Something could happen to one of us one day and by then... it’ll definitely be too late.”

“Nothing is going to happen to you,” he was quick to say. “As long as I’m around, nothing is going to happen to you. _Nothing.”_

Pidge wished she could believe that, but knowing him and his newfound values and what he represented when it came to playing his part in defending the universe, his promise might as well have fallen on deaf ears.  


* * *

**  
PRESENT**

She had told Keith she wasn’t going to wait, but that’s exactly what she did.

She had told her mother that she would let someone else catch her interest, but no one ever did.

She had told Allura that she was going to stop obsessing over him, but she never did. Not even for a second.

She had then told herself that enough was enough; if this was how Keith wanted to be, then so be it. If this was going to be his endgame decision, it would be his greatest mistake. If he wanted to pass up on everything they could’ve been, it would be his loss. If he wanted to have someone else down the line, then he could have them.

And since Pidge was a nice enough person who believed in second chances, she was going to give him one more shot to make this right. One more shot to rebuild the bridge he’s been burning. One more shot to surrender his heart. One more shot to admit that he wanted to be with her.

Tragically, that chance lasted until the very end of her life, and it might just carry on to her next one. And the next one. And the next one...

The parts of her body that were aching before finally faded away into numbness.

Black spots covered up her vision until she saw nothing at all.

Her breath came out in shallow gasps and her heartbeat was slowing down.

Her consciousness withered into planes of nothingness; streaming down a thick, static wavelength that was not her own.

Pidge closed her eyes, letting a single tear run down her cold cheek as she willed herself to be content with the life she had.

Darkness fell upon her, but not before her thoughts gripped onto a word that proved how much of a lovesick fool she was. A word that conveyed how concrete her feelings were. A word that perfectly described the love prison she was shackled in. A word that showed how long she was willing to wait for the man she had already given her heart to.

_Forever._


	2. Chapter 2

**PRESENT**

Keith had never felt this type of dread before.

No, the heavyweight feeling rising inside his chest was more than words could describe.

And he didn’t know why.

Keith, Lance, Hunk, and the Atlas crew were in the main deck on the Atlas ship. In the middle of the room, there was a holographic map of the solar system and a radio communicator beside it. Everyone had their attention rapt on the two blinking red dots—which represented Pidge’s and Allura’s location—moving across the giant screen. They were patiently waiting on standby for the next cue of their rescue plan.

Keith was standing front and center with his arms crossed; focusing intently on the dot he knew was Pidge. He had a calm and neutral expression, but beneath the facade, he was getting restless.

His instincts were screaming at him to go to her, but strategically, he knew he had to stick to the plan. If he didn’t, this entire mission would turn catastrophic. Saving the prisoners on the Galra ship and keeping them safe was the main priority; the second being taking down Sendak once and for all.

It was supposed to be a quick and easy mission, and yet...

“What’s taking the girls so long?” Lance wondered, a hint of worry in his voice. “Shouldn’t they have checked in with us by now?”

After Zarkon, Lotor, and Haggar met their demise, the Voltron coalition had _a lot_ of cleaning up to do. Zarkon’s corruption to the Galra empire had left many planets unable to sustain themselves after everything that had been taken from them, while Lotor’s twisted influences and ill-fed dishonesty to the surviving Alteans made it extremely difficult to convince them that they were all on the same side. Haggar further wounded all the damages that Zarkon and Lotor had inflicted and would have wreaked more havoc if Voltron hadn’t, well, put her down for good.

Which left only one remaining major threat—Sendak.

Sendak has constituted unimaginable destructions on all the helpless planets and allowed his men to capture innocent people to use as their playthings. According to the victims team Voltron have saved so far, what they have been doing to them was horrifically inhumane.

Keith clenched his hands into fists at the thought. He felt sick to his stomach just thinking about it.

“They’re probably transporting the prisoners onto the escape ship as we speak,” Shiro assumed as the dots stopped behind what appeared to be an outline of a ship. “Remember, they can’t use their helmets to communicate with us. Pidge didn’t have time to set up a secret channel for us to talk through.”

“Whatever Sendak’s new technology consists of has got to be insane if Pidge couldn’t find a quick workaround,” Hunk sighed, evidently worried as well that he couldn’t talk to his comrades. “She usually could figure that stuff out within minutes.”

Keith’s frown deepened as he analyzed the blueprint of Sendak’s ship shown at the bottom-left corner of the screen. No, something wasn’t right. He could sense it.

“I’m going to go help them,” he decided and began walking out the castle’s main deck. “I can be at their location in seconds.”

“Hold up—you can’t do that.” Lance grabbed his arm before he could take another step. “The Black Lion’s teleportation power is cool and everything, but you still can’t pop up at random places quietly. In other words, our stealth will be lost the moment you appear.”

Keith opened his mouth to argue back and was instantly cut off when Allura’s frantic voice coming through their helmets.

 _“Everyone! We need your help!”_ she urgently cried out. _“I’m outnumbered and_ _—and Sendak has taken Pidge!”_

Suddenly, Keith knew right away what the heavy feeling inside his chest was.

Fear.

* * *

**  
4 years ago**

Keith liked being in control of his life. He liked trusting his instincts and being able to make his own decisions. It was something he had always preferred and what he was comfortable with. He hated feeling powerless and liked the promised certainty he could give himself without burdening others. Some of that desire for control may have stemmed from him being part Galra or whatever, but he was perfectly content with it.

So when a feisty little woman came barreling through his personal lane and ruining that reign of control, he naturally became intent on taking back what was rightfully his.

And he was planning on doing that _today._

Or rather, he _had_ been.

Pidge doesn’t make anything easy. She _never_ did, so it was a poor calculation and misjudgment on Keith’s part to think that he could shut down all the mind games once and for all through a single confrontation.

What an _idiot._

After he had marched into Pidge’s room and failed to achieve what he had intended to do he went straight to his room, feeling more embarrassment and irritation than before. And questions. Lots of questions.

The first being: why did he have to fall for _her?_

When it came to explaining anything, Pidge would talk at a thousand miles per minute, making it difficult for anyone who wasn’t her blood family to understand and keep up. She’ll end up rambling, and it would take _so damn long_ for her to get to her point that on more than one occasion, Keith had to snap her back to focus and cut the conversation short.

She also loved to hoard things for _no_ reason. Seriously, what was the purpose of her keeping so much junk in her room? Why was her floor littered with so much crap? How the hell does she move around in that small space? She had randoms piles sitting on her bed, so where does she sleep? And why hasn’t she taken care of that questionable scent in her room that smelled like a combination of burnt metal and honey?

And then Pidge had the tendency to have a smart mouth; usually not in the best situations. The last time they were both captured by an enemy, Pidge had dared them to do their worst on her, even though she barely had enough strength at the time to keep her own weight up. When they wouldn’t because of a strict order from their higher up, Pidge had mocked them and their ranks out of boredom, despite Keith’s insistent orders her to stop. It was a wonder how she had survived this long in war when she was hurting feelings and egos left and right.

Pidge had flaws. So did Keith, but he could at least admit it and tried his best to work on them. She on the other hand couldn’t seem to care less about improving her attitude and continued on being her bratty, childish, rude, talkative self.

Which cycled him back to his first question—why her?

* * *

**  
PRESENT**

_“Keith!”_ Lance yelled through the comms. _“Where the hell did you go?!”_

“I’m going to find Pidge,” he gruffed, barreling his lion through the Galra fleet. Where the hell had they all come from? “You guys can handle Sendak’s men on your own.”

_“How about a warning next time before you suddenly decide to take off?!”_

Keith usually appreciated his right-hand man’s two cents, but now was not the time.

So much for focusing on priorities one and two.

He ignored Lance and pulled up a holographic map on his dashboard, punching in a few buttons on the keypad. A second later, he got a lock on the green lion’s location and wasted no time teleporting him and his lion to the exact coordinates being shown on the screen.

When he got there, a horrified gasp left his lips.

Green was in terrible shape. She was floating on her back; void of life and beaten to the point where parts of her limbs were falling apart. There were visible cracks, dents, scratches, and burn marks all over her that if it weren’t for her bright green color and broken shield, anyone passing by could have mistaken her for a random space debris.

What the _hell_ happened?

“Pidge!” Keith called out. “Pidge, where are you?! Answer me!”

He had no idea where he was, but it was somewhere far from the others. He had no visual of the paladins or the Atlas ship. All he could see was an endless blanket of black and specks of white stars surrounding him. What was Pidge doing all the way out here? _Why?_

That was when he heard it—the dreadful sound of her cries of pain coming through the comms.

“Pidge! PIDGE!” Keith frantically looked around him. “Where are you?!"

She grunted and exhaled heavily. It sounded like she had taken a hit. _“On a Galra ship, but I don’t know where.”_ She released a shuddered breath. _“I lost Green. I can’t feel her.”_

But if they were able to talk through their helmets, that meant she wasn’t too far, which Keith deemed a good sign. “Are you injured? How bad?”

_“... don’t worry about it. I got this.”_

He didn’t like the sound of that. Not one bit.

“Pidge,” he began; an undertone warning in his voice. “Are you—Are you fighting Sendak?”

_“No.”_

A wave of relief washed over Keith, until—

“I’m going to find him.”

* * *

**  
3 years ago**

Keith never thought he’d find sweat so damn attractive.

He paid extra unnecessary attention to the salty drops trailing down Pidge’s cleavage and disappearing underneath her damped sports bra. He breathlessly watched the way her abs glistened brilliantly and constricted every time she inhaled and exhaled. Her bare legs shimmered like they were lathered with several layers of oil, finely shaping out her thigh and calf muscles that it made his knees go weak.

The sight stirred something warm in the pit of his stomach and spread throughout his nether region. He shifted his stance to better hide his growing erection.

Shit, he was definitely going to lose this sparring match. Bad.

“Ready?” Pidge asked as she placed her guard back up. Crap, when she flexed her biceps and forearms like that, it made Keith swoon.

He didn’t trust himself to speak without stuttering and merely nodded. A moment later, she rocked back on her right heel to gather momentum and lunged full force at him.

Lance and Hunk cheered Pidge on from the sidelines while Shiro and Allura observed them. If Keith had taken a closer look, he would have noticed the mirth shining all over Allura’s face.

Keith’s focus ended up being all over the place. He would keep an eye on how Pidge was throwing her jabs or which direction she was pointing her toes, but then the way her ponytail danced in the air around her would briefly distract him and put him in a momentary daze. As a result, he’d receive a harsh blow to his stomach that had him doubling over in pain, which Pidge definitely took advantage of to knock him off his feet.

He didn’t stay down for long. He never does. He was the best in hand-to-hand combat on the team; even surpassing Shiro and Allura after all the Blade of Marmora missions and trainings he had done throughout the years. They were still a bit of a challenge to take down and not as easy as going against Lance or Hunk, but he could do it. He always found a way.

But going against Pidge was a completely different beast. Mostly because he couldn’t fucking tear his gaze away from her perked ass and her humbled breasts and her pink lips and her tiny waist and her slender neck and—

“Agh!” Keith cried out as his head was thrown back, suddenly seeing stars clouding his vision. What the—

Pidge crouched down and swiped his feet with her legs, effectively bringing Keith down and landing flat on his ass. He was quick to roll over right as she leaped towards him and somersaulted back onto his feet.

“Dammit,” he heard her mutter under her breath as she stood back up and glared at him. She almost had him. They both knew it.

Keith absentmindedly wiped his mouth as he hungrily stared down at her disheveled appearance. "Are you gonna keep standing there or what?”

Maybe he was an idiot. Maybe he was a masochist. Maybe he wanted to die from the painful ache in his balls. Whatever the case may be, he would willingly do it over and over again if it meant seeing that ferocious glint behind Pidge’s exquisite eyes ignite with newfound determination.

It was undoubtedly his favorite feature about her.

“You’re about to eat shit, Kogane,” she threatened with a smirk, pinching a “random” spot on her sports bra to pull and snap back on her wet skin. She did it again on a different “random” spot and had to bite the inside of her cheek to suppress herself from laughing at Keith’s reaction.

From anyone else’s point of view, it simply looked like she was trying to allow some fresh air to enter beneath her scorching hot clothes and cool off her skin. But Keith—getting the perfect frontal view of her now hardened nipples through her sports bra—knew exactly what she was doing and hated how much his body was reacting strongly to it.

He would have never expected for her to win against him using her chest as her weapon.

It was humiliating, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care all that much when she secretly flashed him right before they left to go hit the showers.

He definitely filed that memory away in the spank bank to use for later.

* * *

**  
PRESENT**

Pidge was talkative, rude, and a dignified hoarder. She was intentionally calculative and daringly spontaneous. She had the appearance of a quiet and vulnerable girl with the attitude of an opinionated and invincible rebel. She saw beauty in formulas and numbers and would completely overlook the most expensive diamonds in the universe. Sometimes when the team was faced with an imminent threat, she would either be the only one lucid enough to figure out a way to take down the enemy or be absolutely irrational and attack foolishly.

But Keith supposed those were some of the many reasons why he was in love with her.

And when you love someone so dearly, you would do everything in your power to protect them.

Pidge was bound to get mad at him later for coming to her aide, but he had long ran out of fucks to give over what she would think about him going after her.

Keith had managed to find the Galra ship Pidge was boarded on not too far from him. There were only handful of soldiers guarding it, which made it a lot easier for him to take them all out quickly and slamming his lion into the ship to force an entrance.

He was certainly going to get scolded after by Black after the mission for breaking into Galra territory recklessly; especially for using her body like a power drill no less.

Four Galra Sentries had been waiting for his arrival and Keith was anticipating it. He dodged every single shot that they fired at him and ran behind a wall to cover himself. Once he drew his blade and activated its power to its fullest length, he jumped out and propelled it right at the Sentries.

The blade sliced through the first two Sentries across the face, killing them both instantaneously. It pierced through the third one’s chest and remained there, even after it had fallen deadweight to the floor. Just as the fourth one lifted their gun to aim at Keith, he charged at them full force and decapitated their head using his sword-shaped bayard.

More Sentries flooded the room, but Keith’s adrenaline and desperate rage provided sufficient stamina for him to fight his way through without stopping. In no time, he fought his way out the perilous wave of toy soldiers and sprinted down the halls of the ship.

“Hang on Pidge,” he exhaled heavily as he glanced down at the hologram screen floating above his wrist that displayed her exact location. His body was aching terribly after that entire ordeal and was begging for him to take a breather, but he refused to slow down one bit. Not when he had to save a five-foot girl who represented his entire world. “I’m coming.”

* * *

**  
2 years ago**

Keith doesn’t know why every year they keep coming back to planet Drazan for Clear Day.

Shiro claimed it was because every now and then, a mental break was needed to keep a sharp mind, but Keith suspected it was his personal excuse to participate in that arm wrestling competition he always got giddy about.

Not that Keith didn’t think a break wasn’t healthy for the mind, it was just… why _here?_ Why did they have to travel across the galaxy to do exactly what they could be doing back on Earth? It sure as hell would have saved a lot of time and energy. Besides, wouldn’t it be wise for at least one of them to stand guard to ensure that no threat can sneak up on the planet undetected? Doesn’t anyone remember that time on Arus where the team had let their guard down and Sendak took over the Castle of Lions? It nearly ruined their chances at saving the universe—

“You have _got_ to stop making that face. You look constipated.”

Keith blinked out of his whirlwind thoughts and glanced down at Pidge. “Huh?”

She waved her hand. “About time you came back from la la land. Everyone already went inside.”

Keith looked around him and saw that indeed, everyone had already left. The only ones standing at the entrance of the Clear Day festival were him and Pidge. “Oh.” He turned his attention back to her. “Why didn’t you go in with them?”

“‘Cause someone needed to show you how to have fun.”

He scowled and crossed his arms. “Pass.”

“Oh, come on!” Pidge grabbed his arm and dragged him towards the ticket-booth. “I know you want to.”

“What makes you so sure?”

“Because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t keep coming back here with us every year.”

Keith scrunched his face up in confusion. “What?”

Pidge stopped walking and turned around to face him. “With your dad’s death and Shiro going missing and then being thrusted into an intergalactic war, you didn’t get a lot of time to act your age. Somewhere inside you, I know there’s a little kid trapped underneath all the growing up you were forced to do that is dying to have a little bit of fun. I know this because I was the same way.”

Keith’s mouth dropped open as he stared dumbfoundedly at her. He didn’t know how to respond to that. His first instinct was to tell her she was wrong and ridiculous, but her words had clicked a gear somewhere inside his brain and locked it in place. That only happened when a logic subconsciously made sense to him...

She smiled softly up at him and tugged him forward. “Come on, Emo Kid. We’ve got a lot of years to make up for! And I promise I won’t do anything funny. This will all be innocent fun.”

He gave her a skeptical look and she responded with a playful wink before pulling him right up to the ticket-booth.

By the end of the day, Keith sincerely wished Pidge hadn’t stuck to her word.

* * *

**  
PRESENT**

Keith never made it to where Pidge was.

Or rather, when he _did_ get there, it had already been too late.

Right as he was about to bust through the door she was behind, an unexpected explosion sent him flying a few meters back. His body collided violently against the wall and he cried out from the impact, falling to the ground on all fours and heaved as the excruciating pain shot down his spine. He coughed vehemently, trying to catch his breath and raised his head to see what had caused the explosion.

But something else caught his attention. Through his peripheral, he noticed something bright outside through the window. When he focused his attention on it, his eyes widened in horror.

There was Pidge; unconsciously being blasted through space inside a force field that was emanating from her bayard.

“No!” he shouted, forcing himself back on his feet. “No, no—Pi—!”

Another explosion knocked him off his balance and momentarily hindering his equilibrium. Before he knew it, parts of the ceilings fell around him and the floor beneath him suddenly crumbled. He tried to get away or hold onto something for leverage, but the floor gave away much too quickly and he fell right through.

Just as Keith was about to meet the first level of the ship headfirst, Black teleported him back inside the cockpit safely.

Once Keith realized he was sitting back in the pilot seat of the Black lion, he promptly grabbed the controls and geared the lion around and towards where he had last seen Pidge disappear to.  
  
“Hurry,” he urgently begged, pulling out his bayard and jammed it into the console, twisting it. “We got to find her. _Please.”_

The Black lions eyes glowed and roared affirmatively in response to Keith’s pleas. He felt the swell of warmth inside his chest and unsaid comforting words embracing his mind as the lion’s wings materialized on her back.

In a blink of an eye, they vanished into the darkness of space.

* * *

**  
1 year ago**

“You can keep playing this game, or you can be with me,” her soft voice cut through the silence. “But I hope you know that the clock is ticking.”

Keith knitted his eyebrows together. He still said nothing.

Pidge swallowed and continued, “I won’t be waiting around for you forever. Something could happen to one of us one day and by then... it’ll definitely be too late.”

“Nothing is going to happen to you,” he was quick to say. “As long as I’m around, nothing is going to happen to you. _Nothing.”_

He hated when she talked like that, but there was nothing he hated more than the look she had on her face at the moment—like she didn’t believe him.

“Pidge—”

“Is it really that hard for you to imagine us being happy together?”

Whatever Keith was going to say before instantly died on his lips. He looked at Pidge with slacked muscles and wide eyes; as if his brain couldn’t register the question.

Pidge scoffed at his cluelessness and shook her head. “I see…” She paced around the room and pressed the heels of her palms on her eyes, muttering incoherent sentences under her breath.

Keith silently watched her from across the room, internally struggling to keep his hands to himself or to go over there and embrace her.

But he couldn’t. He _shouldn't_. Not when there was still a war to be won.

Allura and Lance were having a difficult time staying together. It had been fun and easygoing for them in the beginning stages of their relationship, but as the war carried on, it started to strain. Sometimes Lance doesn’t know how to let Allura fight her own battles and Allura tended to forget Lance didn't need anything to be sugarcoated to him anymore.

Hunk and Shay were struggling as well, and they were the last couple in the universe Keith would have believed to be dealing with relationship issues. Keith only had a vague idea of why they have been fighting, but he knew it had something to do with Hunk continuously putting his life on the line and Shay being constantly worried about him.

These factors were enough for Keith to conclude that being in a relationship at a time like this would bring unnecessary drama. As the leader of Voltron and a high-rank officer for the Blade of Marmora, he couldn’t be selfish and jump into a relationship with Pidge. It wouldn’t be fair.

After a few minutes, Pidge abruptly stopped pacing and dropped her head back. Her arms fell against her sides and she released an exasperated groaned. “Ugh, _what_ am I doing?”

Keith had enough sense in him to know that the question wasn’t directed to him.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have enough sense in him to know that his silence further ignited the anger rising inside Pidge.

He could see the exact moment when she was about to lose her shit. She slowly pivoted towards him and narrowed her eyes, clenching her jaw and flaring her nose. Her spine stiffened and her knuckles turned white from being balled into tight fists. When she opened her mouth, Keith braced himself for the onslaught of curses that were about to be thrown at him until—

She deflated.

The enraged atmosphere that had been escalating in Keith’s room had faded. It died out completely and was replaced with a hollow sensation. The air in the room now felt cold, empty, and broken.

Keith continued to stare at Pidge and noticed how the lively fire from her eyes moments ago had turned vacant. He stood there speechless, unsure of what was the right thing to do.

Pidge eventually began backing up and lowered her distant gaze to the floor. She seemed to be deep in thought; like her mind was flipping through channels and searching for the right one. Her lips quivered and her throat constricted. That was when Keith realized she was holding back tears.

“Just—Just tell me why,” she demanded in a hushed tone, her voice wavering. “Just tell me why.”

There was no easy way for Keith to drop the bomb on her. He knew exactly what it was going to do to her and how it would affect their relationship moving forward. But if this was the only for her to finally understand him and protect her, then...

“It’s just not our time.”

“What?” Pidge croaked.

There was a horrible pounding inside Keith’s temples. His eyes were hot and itching to tear up. His chest felt like it was about to implode and his heart was beating so fast he could feel it against his ribcage. Nevertheless, he forced himself to keep his ground and kept telling himself he had to do this.

For her sake.

“It’s just not our time,” he repeated, enunciating each painful syllable.

Her jaw trembled. “I-I...what...Keith—”

“As paladins, we still have a lot of responsibility to carry out and we’ve got to keep our sight on the bigger picture,” he explained. “We can’t lose focus on what really matters—”

“So my _heart_ doesn’t matter to you?” Pidge angrily interrupted.

Keith realized a second too late he had fucked up. “That’s not what I meant—”

“You are filled with so much bullshit, you know that?” she spat. “You know damn well you’re making up excuses.”

“I’m not,” Keith argued, keeping his cool. He _had_ to. “Why would I lie about something like that?”

“I fucking wish I knew, ‘cause I’m getting sick and tired of this.”

And with that, she left his room and slammed the door shut.

* * *

**  
PRESENT**

Keith had barriers around his heart for a reason, but Pidge just had to go and break through all of them.

He forced himself to act nonchalant and indifferent about everything, but she just had to look into his mind and unraveled the real him.

He would allow himself to drown miserably in his own thoughts on certain lonely nights, but Pidge somehow always knew where to find him and always pulled him right out of his sea of depression.

He tried to never look at her for too long, but one glance at her and he wondered why the stars decided to create such a unique treasure.

He thought he was doing the right thing. He thought keeping his distance would protect her and keep her safe. He thought this was the only way for them to have a better chance in the future; one where there were no more threats lingering in the shadows and where the universe was at peace again that it didn’t need Voltron anymore.

 _That_ was the happiness with Pidge he had imagined.

It was never hard to think about. In fact, it was so damn easy that he thought about it countless times.

He would imagine them having a redo of their time together on Clear Day and how it ended up being a date after all.

He would imagine their private training sessions together and how it would always take a heated turn, because she loved to tease the crap out of him and he couldn’t help but become a victim to her seduction games.

He would imagine taking her out on a midnight ride in the desert back on Earth on his motorbike so that she could experience all the times he had felt true freedom.

He would imagine watching her work on her latest tech gadget and be rapt with attention when she would explain what it was and what it would be used for, even if he couldn’t understand a single word that left her cute mouth.

He would imagine going the to bed every night with her face being the last thing he sees before going to sleep and her face being the first thing he woke up to every morning.

He would imagine the two of them exploring new planets and revisiting their favorites ones; doing dumb shit together because she was the only one he could let down his defenses around and have fun with at the same time.

He would imagine his mom and Pidge’s parents drinking and having a conversation in the Holts backyard while he, Pidge, Matt, and BaeBae would be inside watching a drama flick that the siblings secretly adored but would never admit.

He would imagine taking Pidge somewhere private, getting down on one knee, and asking her to be his wife.

He would imagine having a family with her, being beside her throughout her pregnancy and imagining what their future children would look like and who would they take after and if they will be part Galra like Keith or a genius like Pidge.

There were so many things Keith would imagine on a daily basis that he would get lost in all the fantasies with a lovestruck smile on his face and lose track of time.

And now, it may forever be unreachable.

Because the moment he found Pidge and pulled her battered body into his arms, she had stopped breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hitchhiker is the name of a short story I have written exclusively for [Roads Untraveled: A Kidge Zine](https://kidgezine.tumblr.com/). Please check out the blog to learn more details!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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